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Glossary

Attachment Style

Also known as: adult attachment style · attachment pattern

Attachment style is the pattern of how a person seeks and avoids closeness in adult relationships, typically classified as Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, or Fearful-Avoidant.

Attachment style is the pattern of how a person seeks and avoids closeness in adult relationships. The four standard categories — Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant — come from attachment theory, originally developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth and extended to adult relationships by Hazan and Shaver in the 1980s.

BiggDate uses attachment style as a primary matching axis. Maahi infers it from how a user describes past conflict, withdrawal, reassurance-seeking, and emotional regulation — not from a self-reported quiz, which tends to be unreliable.

Two Secure people tend to be the cleanest pairing. Anxious-Avoidant pairings are the most common cause of dating-app dysfunction (the 'I'm into them but they pull away' pattern). BiggDate does not refuse to match across attachment styles — sometimes the chemistry is real and the work is worth it — but it surfaces the dynamic in the match narrative so both people understand what they are signing up for.

Attachment style is not destiny. People become more secure with the right partner and time. BiggDate also tracks growth areas alongside style.

Related terms

See also: How BiggDate works.

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